Wednesday 22 January 2014

The toothbrush list


Okay so a blog. It’s technically been started. Now what? What is one supposed to write about? Anything, I hear you say? Anything? Hmm. Alright, then…



I have decided to sign up to a challenge. A self-inflicted challenge, in a way. Yes, I realise this is not the usual way to do things, but sometimes, your biggest challenges come from the limits you set yourself. This challenge is about health, it’s about fitness, it’s about motivation, it’s about self. It involves eating clean and lean. It involves exercise and discipline. How good can your body be if you do all the things it needs, and do them well? Yada yada yada, you’ve heard it all before. Let’s call the challenge ‘Bob’. I won’t bore you with the details of that part of it (not just now, anyway..), but the element of the challenge that’s really caught my eye is the ‘toothbrush list’. Things that I want to do everyday for the next month. So I picked 3.



Okay, exercise everyday for a minimum of 20 minutes, even on non-training days, whether that be a walk round the lake after work or a quick run. Secondly, to have an absolute minimum of 7 hours’ sleep a night. I know, it really should be 8, but some weeks I function on somewhere between 5 and 6, so a guaranteed 7 sounds like a dream. And finally, another 20 minutes a day for me.



Easy.



Yep. No problem. Should be sweet. Right. Hmm. Okay. Wait a mo. Hold up. Say, whaat? Alright so it’s late, yeah, and I’m shattered and I just want my bed and I remember I’ve not done my 20 minutes of exercise.. What, so I’m just going to do jump up and down for 20 minutes doing lunges and burpees and push ups? Yep.



Ah.                                             



Right, so I’m in bed about to do lights out as it’s coming up to 7 hours before my alarm will be going off and a friend back home messages on the off-chance I can skype.. Well, we’ve not spoken in a month, what am I supposed to do, say “no”? Yep.



Oh.



Okay, so I’ve been up for training since before the crack of dawn at 0530, been in work for what feels like 3 and a half days,  caught up with a friend, been out for dinner, got home late and then realise I’ve still got to find 20 minutes for “myself”, and that’s not taking into account the fact that there is a very fast-closing window in which to catch those elusive 7 hours’ sleep.. Surely I should be hitting the sack but you’re seriously telling me now is the time to read, write, chill out, to have pretentious, self-indulgent and very pointless “me time”? Yep.



Time. For me. Just for me. Like, to do things.. for me. Me time. No one else, 100% me time spent having time on meeee. Me. Me? Ummm… Yep.



I see.



And these were genuinely my thought processes. And I realised for the first time just how little “me time” I actually have. My real first thought was a cross between “what is one actually supposed to do with time to oneself?!” and “WOW think of all the things I could do!!” Things I haven’t done in ages. Play piano. Play guitar. Play cards. Make cards. Make cakes. Decorate cakes. Drink a G&T in the sun. Read a book in the garden. Do both the above at the very same time!! Sing! To the radio. To anything. Write. Write that blog I’ve been meaning to start..! Plant some vegetables. Plant some flowers. Draw some flowers. Have a bath. With smellies. And candles! I don’t even like smellies. Or baths.. But hurrah, the possibilities are endless! I have 20 minutes a day to legitimately do anything I like, anything at all!



This was quickly followed by a blunt, sobering and slightly puzzling question.. So 20 minutes is 1/72 of a day. That is such a pitifully pathetic amount of time to spend on the most important person in one’s life. WHY have I not been doing this the whole time? My whole life? Why am I not doing things I love everyday? Every single day? Maybe these are the things we need to be finding time for. Letter writing to whoever and singing to no one and thinking about nothing and walking to nowhere and hell, even baths. With smellies. The day is mine, mine alone, one whole day, everyday, and I give it away to other places, other things, other people and continuously forget to save just a little bit for me, myself and I. I have forever been chronically busy. It's a recurring theme. I cannot stand having nothing to do. I am Queen of The Double-Ended Burn of a Candle. I struggle to see an evening spent doing



nothing



as anything other than a huge waste. I feel cheated out of an opportunity. How dare you rob my night, Time, how simply dare you!! So inevitably, my days are full and long and tiring. Fun and satisfying, but rarely for “me”. I think this one, and the 2 other aims on the toothbrush list, are going to take some serious work. It feels like a bit of a shift in mindset. They suddenly seem quite important and I wonder how I’ve missed them out for so long. How rare is it to get a good night's sleep most nights of the week? Or to have that nice post-exercise buzz routinely? Or to do something you really, really enjoy and love every single day?



It’s going to require commitment, dedication and a conscious effort to ignore the subconscious habits of a very long time indeed. But I’m in.




Are you?

JP

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